Part 3: Li Shang

When I was a child, I was a far cry from the guy you see today. I was fat and ugly but everyone thought otherwise and all the adults would pinch my cheeks till they turned red. My parents called me "Our Little Buddha." Heck, I was even born fat, according to my mother. While I thought I was the ugliest kid in China, everyone else thought the opposite and my parents too way too many photos of your truly. Today, I still dread seeing my baby photos. When I brought my fiancee, Tin-Hau, over to my house I was fervently praying that my Mother wouldn't show her my baby pictures. But Tin-Hau is my wife so she eventually saw them...gosh, she overreacted. She was gushing and saying, "Awwww! How cuuuuuute!" Women. They can get so emotional sometimes.

Mama told me that she and my father were overjoyed to have me because they had waited so long to have a child and in addition to that, I was a boy meaning I could carry on the Li name in the army.

Throughout my childhood, I was fat and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to uphold the family's honor. I couldn't help it. Our house was full of good things; not just Chinese goodies but imported things as well: Belgian waffles, Scottish cookies, British chocolates--you name it! Our family is quite privileged. Occassionally, my mother would dress up in Western fashions, which was the manner of rich Chinese people. She had on these long sleeved Western suits with buttons in front, a skirt that reached up to her knees, and high-heeled velvet shoes. And sometimes, a hat with feathers attached to it. And there were times when she would dress me and my sister, Kwan (who is a talented pipa player by the way), in Western clothes as well. Kwan would wear these frilly dresses covered with lace and a big skirt while I wore these Western suits that were practically choking me at the collar and long black pants that sometimes made me itchy. Actually, Kwan whispered to me that sometimes, her dresses would keep her perpetually scratching, too.

My sister and I went to this school designed for academically gifted children. We performed well and were number one in our classes. And I was proud of it.

By the time I was nine, I was almost as fat as Chien-Po (but don't tell him I said that). I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to have the capability of becoming a military man and sometimes, I would lock myself in my room and cry. I cry really soft, just little sniffing noises with tears streaming down my cheeks. Unlike Kwan, who cries so loudly that the whole of China can practically hear her.

Yep, I too had a loooooooooooong way to go.

But there was something that I prided myself in aside from being top of my class: archery. My father taught it to me when I was five and I grew so attached to it, just like the way my sister grew attached to her pipa. I practiced day and night and by the time I was nine, I was a professional archer. I learned how to aim directly, plot my stretegy, swiftness, and how to be alert. I developed such a good aim. Sometimes, I would tease Kwan by pretending to aim my arrow at her and she would run crying to our parents. Sheesh! Kwan was so sensitive!!!!

I was just like any other little boy. Kwan and I had our group of playmates, from the neighboring houses as well as from school. We were a big group. We would play together after school and a lot during the summer, especially at night when it was too hot to stay indoors. We'd swim in the river which was near my house, fly kites, play Tsoo Tsoo, invent stories about things that aroused our curiosity, and sometimes we would play tricks. Our favorite target was Chi Fu. Sometimes, we would pass by the army camp and sneak inside. We'd hide Chi Fu's stuff, put mud on a chair that he was about to sit in, drop a beetle in his soup...you know, stuff like that. We occassionally made up silly stories about him as well. One of my playmates said that he probably had such few teeth because a rat stole them when he was sleeping since he was mean. I was careful not to let my father catch me playing those tricks. Of course he'd see me when I would occassionaly drop by the army camp and proudly show me off to his comrades. And then came the pinching of cheeks.

But he never saw me being mischievous. If he did, I would've gotten a heavy thrashing from him. Chinese torture, in other words.

During the Chinese New Year, the Mid-Autumn Festival, and the other festivals we would have, my playmates and I would have the best time ever.There was this old man at the festivals who would always hand out moon cakes and other Chinese goodies to the children. We were always on the lookout for that guy during festival time.

In the winter, we stayed indoors and amused ourselves by exploring our house, which was full of interesting antiques and furniture, some of which we were not allowed to touch. My parents told me that if we went outside, our skin would freeze and break into a hundred pieces. And we did not dare go near the river when it was rough because we were told that it would swallow the disobedient children who would not listen to their parents.

Mm-hm, those were my one-digit years. But I soon emerged into the double-digit years. At ten years old, I was so afraid that I would not make it to the army. Slowly, I began to grow out my childhood delights, such as looking for that old man at festivals. I rolled into my eleventh birth anniversary and was still as fat as ever. I would sometimes watch the soldiers whenever I'd go with my father to the army camp and how I envied them! So swift, quick, deft...how I wish I could be like them! I felt kinda hopeless. Sure I was good in archery. But a soldier must know a lot kore than just that.

One day, my father approached me and said, "Shang, I know you are intelligent and I know that you are aware that you are no longer a child."

"I...I'm not?" I stuttered. I was going to miss my childhood days. Tears began to form in my eyes.

"Shang, no tears!" Father said sternly. "Crying is only for the women. You are nearly a man and therefore, I shall make you into one."

"So soon, Father?" I asked. Sure, I wanted to be a good soldier. But I felt like now was not the right time. However, looking back, I was glad that my father prodded me at an early age so that I would not keep putting it off.Had it not been for him, I would've still been pathetic.

"Shang," my father said. "I know that we are rich. But you should not grow up spoiled with an easy life because in this world, you will experience more hardships than good things. A child who is too sensitive and grows in luxury will not survive a harsh world. Therefore, we shall start tomorrow. Wake up at 5 PM and we'll be off to the camp in ten minutes."

"Father, that's so early!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, it should be," he said. "Don't forget, tomorrow!" And he turned and left, his cape flowing behind him in the wind.

I was startled. Then excited. I, Li Shang, professional archer and star pupil, was finally going to be in the army! I would follow in my father's footsteps and carry on the family name. Then I felt scared and a bit sad. Gone were the carefree days of childhood and here were the days of hardship and back-breaking labor. My former playmates were growing up, too, and finding their places in this world. A new set of kids took our places and filled the places we once played in. I was experiencing a mixture of feelings as I got into bed that night.

The next morning at promptly five, my father tapped me. "Time to get up, son."

I yawned. "Father, I was having the nicest dream..."

"There's no time for daydreaming in the army. Now get up and be ready in ten minutes."

How I was tempted to snuggle back into the warm covers and continue dreaming. But I forced myself and dragged myself out of bed. It was time to bring honor to my father, my family, and China.

But could my father turn this overweight, bumbling freak of nature into a great, military officer?

***

For the first few weeks, I performed miserably. I was clumsy and inept. I couldn't hit jars with a pole, I accidentally grabbed a soldier's foot when we were supposed to grab a fish in the water, I nearly drowned while swimming...I was hopeless. As I sat under a tree one day, taking a break, a cold sweat broke throughout my body. What if I wasn't meant to be a soldier? What would happen to my family and the army and myself? As if Kwan could take my place! I was the only boy in our house. Father sternly told me that if I didn't shape up soon, he would shave my head and send me to where the Buddhist monks then disown me. I was worried down to the pits of my stomach.

One night, I had an idea. I would practice whenever I had free time. And that I did. There were nights when I couldn't sleep so I would sneak into the garden and practice with my equipment. Since I already had a skill in archery, that was a pretty good headstart. There are moments in life that you can't really remember when or how it happened--when you don't have a clear recollection of it and therefore you can't narrate or describe how it happened. That happened to me. The moment was when I began to get the hang of military life. I can't clearly remember how it happened--I just foud myself one day getting the hang of it. I began to improve as the days passed by. I was absorbing the techniques more easily. And...I found myself enjoying it. I read all the books my father had about the military. And another way to motivate myself was to say to myself over and over again, "I love the army, I love the army, I love the army," so that it would soon sink it into me and I would soon really love the army. I worked hard and really did begin to enjoy it.

In time, my flabs turned into firm abs and my face grew less round and biceps began to appear on my arms and muscles all over my body, while I began to develope rippling pectorals. I was getting the built I had aimed for. I was getting better at martial arts and stuff and becoming more swift. When not in action, I would go through my father's books and my knowledge expanded even more.

You know what they say. No pain, no gain.

By the time I was eighteen, I was no longer a plump elephant. I stood in front of my full-length mirror one day, smiling proudly at my reflection. Now I was sure that I would bring my family honor. I was sure I would become an honorable son and great soldier. I knew practically everything about the army like the back of my hand. Sometimes, my father would wake me up in the middle of the night to tone it down because according to him, I had been reciting some rules in my sleep!

I ran into one of my former playmates one day who was now a travelling salesman and he didn't recognize me at first. He was so shocked when he realized it was yours truly.

"So, are you, like, captain already?" he asked, grinning.

Well, two years later I was promoted to the rank of Captain at the least expected moment and it happened on a completely ordinary day.

The Huns had invaded China and my father was rounding up his troops, including me. Being the general's son, I had more privileges, as well as more responsibilities. I was having a meeting with father and Chi Fu (ugh) one day inside his tent and we were discussing strategies on how to fight the Huns. And then, father put me in charge of training the new recruits and--alakazam!--handed me a sword and said, "When Chi Fu believes you are ready, you will join us, Captain."

"Captain?" I repeated.

Gosh, that was a happy moment for me. :) I could not believe it.

After he assigned me and left me with Chi Fu, who was being a real pain in the neck (he actually kinda taunted me before when I was fat and my father was not around and he was SAD when he saw me succeeding--hahaha!), and left with his troops to the Tung-Shao Pass.

Had I known that that would be the last day to see my father, I would've made the most out of it. Three weeks later, a letter arrived from my father asking me and my men (but one of 'em was really a woman--Mulan! Of course we all know about her already so I won't bore you with the details) to meet him and his men at the Tung-Shao Pass but by the time we had arrived, it was too late. There are no words I can find to describe the overwhelming grief when I discovered Father had died. As a small tribute to him, I plunged my sword into the snow and placed Father's helmet (which Chi Fu had found) on top of it.

Oh, but before that happened, I had to train the recruits, which wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do. (Although I was kinda psyched--before I was a trainee and now I was actually the one training!) So many recruits were kicked out and Mulan--whom I thought was Ping at that time--was really lousy in my opinion, untill she managed to retrieve an arrow I had shot to the top of a pole as part of the mens' training session.

But going back...believe me, I wanted to break down into tears when I learned that father had died. But I had to stay strong. I was a man, I was in the army, and I was the captain. Reflecting back, I know that father gave me harsh threats only for my own good so that I would grow up disciplined, like a tree growing with the help of braces. So I swallowed my tears and moved on. And...ah....you know the rest so I won't bore you with the details. The battle...and how Mulan (formerly known as Ping) saved us. When we discovered that she was a woman because of a wound, I felt really torn between the law and my heart. I knew it would be unfair if I killed her because she had saved my life during the battle so the least I could do was to spare her life and move on without her.

And then, there was the Imperial City battle. I was really surprised to see her there. I thought she was just trying to get attention when she said that the Huns were there but she was actually right. And she devised such a clever plan and fought so bravely and saved China. I was so enthralled by her courage that I was too dumbstruck to say anything when we bade each other farewell. Knowing that I trained her, I felt kinda proud of myself as well (there's always someone behind a person's success, you know. In this case, the principle was: behind every woman is a man). Chi Fu was still acting so stupid and sexist--he was the only one who was not impressed by her just because she was a woman. Everyone bowed down to her, even the Emperor! Later, after Mulan left, he told me something that implied me to pay her a visit and shortly after, he fired Chi Fu because he, too, was tired of him.

I did pay her a visit afterwards, at her house where I met her father, the honorable Fa Zhou. Her granny was really funny. And Mulan and I became the best of friends.

But all war and no love make Shang a dull captain. There were heaps of rumors that Mulan and I were more than just friends. Even Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po teased me about it. I just shrugged it off since they were just rumors. I don't let rumors bother me.

I did find love--sometime after my "great Mulan adventure." A letter arrived from the Hong Kong based lieutenant of the Imperial Army and he was asking me to go there and train the recruits so that Hong Kong would have protection as well. So I traveled there to make men out of the recruits there. When I arrived, the place was as bad as the Wu Zhong Camp was before. So I did my stuff. The Hong Kong base was still very small, only a lieutenant, a colonel, and those recruits.

We held training in one of those open spaces in the parks over there. The weather was beautiful and really sent me in the mood for it. One day, when I was teaching them some martial art moves, I suddenly spied her at the very back.

She was of dazzling loveliness, so incredibly beautiful, that I froze for a split second. I was swept away in that moment of breathless delight. When our eyes met, she fled. I wanted to go after her. Then, I realized that the men were staring at me as if my skin had turned green. I cleared my throat, regained my posture, and resumed my business. But I couldn't stop thinking about her. I knew I had to see her again. That porcelain white skin, thick black hair as smooth as silk, shiny eyes twinkling like black stars, cherry blossom-pink lips....so beautiful, so wonderful. I wondered if it was a dream or if it was real.

I was sitting one day in the tent thinking about her when a voice yelled in my ear, "CAPTAIN LI SHANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, startled out of my wits. "Er, sorry. What's wrong?"

"I've been calling you for the past three minutes, godammit! You deaf or something?"

"No...everything's fine," I replied calmly. "So what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

That's how much I thought of her. She was so lovely...just like a ghost. One minute she was there, next she was gone. I prayed I would see her again.

And I did. I was walking in the market one day to unwind and I saw her. This time, there was nothing and nobody stopping me so I took my chance before it was too late. I approached the lovely young woman, greeted her, introduced myself, and engaged in a friendly conversation. I learned that she was Tin-Hau Pettick and an opera singer--I could sort of sense it from her beautiful accent. She apologized for no reason at all because she thought that I thought she was spying on me the other day at the park, but I told her that I wasn't even thinking about that! And I wanted to see the fair Tin-Hau perform and she told me that she had a performance on stage that night so I promised her that I would be there. Then, I had to go back to the army camp. So I left, but I knew I'd see her that night.

So that night, before going to the theater, I bought her red roses. Then I arrived. My, how beautifully she sang! Her voice was clearer and more melodic than a nightingale's. So I presented the roses to her knowing that she richly deserved it and then we ate at my favorite restaurant. The moon was gleaming like a porcelain plate against a black velvet sky and the stars were sparkling like tiny diamonds, so we took a walk afterwards by the bay. It was so romantic. The best night ever.

And for the next few weeks, I courted her, sending her little gifts, paying her visits, you know...the simple way of showing my love. She didn't seem to resent me and I was glad. On days when I wasn't able to see her, I would feel very incomplete so I would pay her an extra-long visit the next day.

I soon realized that in a few weeks, I would have to be returning to mainland China. My time was almost up. Besides, the troops needed me there. But I didn't wan to leave my beloved Tin-Hau. We had grown closer as the days passed. I was pondering on how to solve this dilemma when finally, I realized what was the best thing to do.

One day, we taking a stroll in the botanical gardens and we decided to rest our feet and sit down on a bench. Pretending I didn't know how to break it to her, I took a deep breath and said, "Tin-Hau, I'm returning to China in a few weeks."

"You are???" she gasped. Tears formed in her delicately shaped eyes and she threw her arms around me. "Oh Shang, I'll miss you."

I embraced her back. "You won't have to."

She looked at me strangely. "What do you mean?" she asked.

I took her hands into mine. "Tin-Hau, will you...er..come back to China with me and be my wife?"

Tears filled her eyes again but this time they were tears of joy. "Oh Shang, yes, I will!" Her arms grew tighter around me and so did mine on her.

I stroked her hair. "Wo ai nee, Tin-Hau." (I love you, Tin-Hau.)

She smiled. Then I moved closer to her face, my lips heading towards hers. She edged closer to me. And with our arms tightly wrapped around each other, we engaged in a pasionate kiss. Our first kiss with Mother Nature as our only witness. It was like a dream--only I knew that this dream would last forever. Because Tin-Hau and I would be together forever.

In two weeks, we returned together to my home. A funny incident happened on the way home and it shall be my pleasure to tell you about it.

We hitched a rickshaw once we arrived in my hometown. The driver was acting strangely because for some reason, he kept his hat over his face, concealing it. His voice sounded strang too--kinda fakish. As we were heading towards my house, I noticed something familiar about him, though I couldn't quite make out what it was. When we arrived at our destination, I was paying him when all of a sudden a wind blew the hat off his face and guess who it was?

Chi Fu!

We were so startled that we couldn't say anything but laugh and laugh while Chi Fu abruptly turned and left without a word. Obviously, he was embarassed.

So then, I brought my lovely bride-to-be into the house and introduced her to my family and friends. And very soon, it was our wedding. Tin-Hau was dressed in a beautiful red dress while I wore a red robe with a black outline and a violet sash. The ceremony was so beautiful that out of the corner of my eye, I spied YAO crying! Ling whispered something to him then Yao was about to punch when Chien-Po seperated them.

After the wedding, Tin-Hau and I went on a two-week honeymoon to Japan and South Korea. We had the greatest time ever. :)

And then, we had our three beautiful children: Ko-Ngai, Kouan, and Bai-Yen.

Now, I am the father and Kouan is the son and now I'm the one training and disciplining him. He's improving as the days pass by and I have no doubt that he will make a great warrior.

I taught him something else. I taught him not to be too "by-the-book" but to listen to hi heart when the time called for it. I learned this from my exprience with Mulan. I also taught him something else: that sometimes, the best way to lead is to follow. This too, I learned from Mulan. Because it pays if you give others a chance to speak up, especially if they come up with fantastic ideas. And I trust that he will heed everything I tell him.

So....now I'm having a great life. Yesterday was a solmen moment for us, though because it was my father's death anniversary. But we all know that he was a good man and he's in heaven now.

And my marraige and relationship with my kids is going great.

Oh yeah...when my eldest daughter was a few months old, I finally got promoted to the rank of general by the emperor himself. We had a huge party for me, organized by my mother, my sister, and my wife. It was held after the ceremony. The next day, I paid a secret visit to my father and whispered, "Thank you, Father. Thank you for disciplining me. If it weren't for we, I wouldn't have been where I am today. I am General now, Father." No one else was present so I allowed tears to trickle down my face.

Yes, I'm happy now. Truly happy. My son and I are training right now. Occassionally, my nephew, Bing-Bing, joins us. He's always welcome to join us.

Last Chinese New Year, I ran into someone whom I hadn't seen in ages. The old, grandfatherly man who used to hand out goodies to me when I was a kid. Now, he's handing my kids the goodies. And I watch them run off happily, with a smile on my face and my wife's lovely, slim arm around me.