Part 6: Li Ko-Ngai

Ever since Mom told me her story, my life was never the same again. Not negatively, though. I meant that now, I see and feel more meaning in my family history. Of what happened to those people who lived before me. Did you ever get that feeling wherein after hearing something revealing or shocking, your life will never be as it was before? Before, meaning when you were still ignorant of it? Well, that was how Mom's story affected me.

Now, I know the history of both my paternal and maternal side. Now, there are no more question marks.

Some people say that ignorance is bliss. But you can't be ignorant about your family. Or people you love. They're the ones dearest to your heart. Some of them even have your own flesh and blood. It just isn't....right to be ignorant.

Now that I am no longer ignorant, I don't feel incomplete anymore.

An-an and I recently went on a trip by ourselves (yes, by ourselves!) to Peking! It was so much fun! Our parents allowed us since we were nearing our eighteenth birthdays, and therefore, nearly adults. You know that I love my family and all, but I'd also love some independence as well. We went from one place to another and had a looksy at all the interesting stuff there as well. It was really cool. Frolicking around the city streets with no parents...yeah, we liked it.

But anyway, I mentioned that we were nearing our eighteenth birthdays. Well, I just turned eighteen yesterday. Yep, now I am officially an adult. My parents threw me a grand party. All our family friends as well as An-an and some other friends were there as well. You know what Mom gave me? A Pekingese. And I named him Peanut II because he looked like a spitting image of the original Peanut. (I know how he looks like because I've seen photos of him.) Anyway, all my family members: Popo, Mom, Dad, my sibs, and Auntie Kwan's family were gathering for a group photo. Auntie Mulan was taking the shot. I am not really fond of pictures so I just stood back and watched. Mom noticed me and said, "Ai, Ko-Ngai, come here and join us!"

"Yeah, come on!" Dad joined in.

"Oh no, that's all right," I began.

"Oh come on, Ko-Ngai!" said Auntie Kwan.

"Yeah! Don't be such a killjoy!" said Kouan.

"It will be fun!" said Bai-Yen.

Finally, I gave in and reluctantly joined the group, standing at the edge beside Jing-Mei.

"Come closer," she said, motioning to me.

I moved an inch closer.

Everyone else was getting ready for the family photo. Mom was checking her lips in a mirror. Auntie Kwan was fixing Popo's hair then she said, "OK, that's good. Now smile naturally, Ma."

Popo gave her a withered look. "I always do, Kwan."

"No you don't..."

Meanwhile, the kids were scrambling in front, fighting over the best places. Mom kept asking Dad, "Do I look OK?"

"You look fine, dear," he would tell her.

"OK!" Auntie Mulan said. "Ready?"

"Yes!" some of us said.

"Just a minute....there," said Mom, fixing Bai-Yen's braid. "OK, ready!"

"Say cheese!" Auntie Mulan said.

"Cheese!"

Click! went the polaroid. Later, I took a look at the photo we just had.

There were all of us, standing there, smiling proudly, just like a family with filial piety.

This wasn't our first family photo. We've been having them since I was a child. But now that I knew even more about my family, seeing that photo of all of us together made me proud of what we are. I knew all the backgrounds our family had been through and why they are here today. It's hard to explain...but it was just so significant. And it made me proud to be a Li.

That is what has been around, since a time long past. A great lineage. A legacy of Li.

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THE LI FAMILY TREE

General Li <3 Li Suyuan = Shang, Kwan
Tin-Hau <3 Shang = Ko-Ngai, Kouan and Bai-Yen
Kwan <3 Wu Chiao-Yen = Jing-Mei, Bing-Bing and Ying-Ying

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